The internet is abuzz with all kinds of parenting goodness that I just have to chime in on. It’s been awhile since I’ve given my opinion on parenting I think…which is why the time has come.
Have you heard about the 30 year old man who refuses to leave his parent’s home in Syracuse? Let me catch you up real quick. He doesn’t contribute to household expenses nor does he help out around the house. Now, if he’s 30, his parents are at least in their 50s-60s I believe. The son moved back home 8 years ago after his online business failed.
I personally do not understand why it’s so hard for his parents to change the locks and keep it moving. I also wonder why they can’t just evict him. I’m sure the maternal/paternal instinct is to protect your children and make sure they’re okay out in the world, but at some point this grown man has got to launch and go out on his own.
Our job as parents is to make sure that our children have what they need to survive in this world without us. We train them from day one to be independent so when it’s time for them to leave the house, they go and stay gone. I shared online here that I left home at 19, came home after a year dealing with a bad roommate situation, and left by the time I was 21. I haven’t been home since. I lived on my own until I got married 12 years later.
Here’s my personal advice for the parents who should tell their son to:
- Find a job and contribute to the household bills (6-12 months max)
- Save some money until he can move out on his own (6-12 months max)
- Find some roommates (let him be someone else’s problem)
- Go back to school to learn some marketable skills (maybe he can live on campus too)
If the parents allow themselves to be taken advantage of continuously, this could become far worse than it currently is. The family relations have got to be strained at this point.
When it comes to my children, I’m okay with them coming back home after college for a few years. Given the shackles of student loan debt, today’s graduates should live at home for 1-2 years while paying off their debts unless they are able to pay their tuition through scholarships and/or if their parents got it like that.
However, I do expect them to help out around the house, be respectful of the home, and offer to pay a bill or two.
Question: What advice would you give him and/or his parents?
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